Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
