just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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