Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
