Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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