yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
