We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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