We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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