just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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