kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
