Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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