Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
