We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
