I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
