How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize