By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
