do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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