The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Randomize
