So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
