Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Houston, we have a blender
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
