I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
