In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
