i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
