This is not my ceiling
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
