I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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