Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
