just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
