just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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