Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
