I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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