I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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