White coat. Heels.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
