Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
