I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
