Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
