just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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