Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
