I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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