i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
