All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize