Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
