Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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