Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
