Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
