Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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