I think i sorta joined a cult last night
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude i'm inner monologue high
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
