He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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