i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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