even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
