GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
