i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
