Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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