Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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