You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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