I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
