Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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