My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
