Apparently you make a good broom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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