Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
