I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's official drugs can't kill me
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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