have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
