Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize