Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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