He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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