I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
