Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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