Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
