the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
