I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
thus making me awesome and them whores
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
